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29. avgusta, 2017

English practice level: Going to Australia

Simply doing something you feel good doing too many times ends on the back part of a neverending to-do list. Getting older, changing priorities, falling into the coolest choo-choo ride there is (life is amazing like that) might just make us forget to do things we always wanted to. Or even worse,  not forgetting but putting it off, for someday… But as I’ve seen and heard many times, someday turns into never and wanting to turns in wishing you could, and wishing you did.

I always had the need to create. From the simplest of forms of making a goey-mess of sticky balls of paper and glue, then calling it art (I was 5, don’t judge me), to writing poems, making video-animations, pencil drawing or somehow enhancing whatever I’ve dealt with at the moment. Writing became my latest outlet, right after I stopped giving a fuck what people think. Mostly, they don’t even think as much as I would like to believe.

Having a strong imagination paired with low self-esteem, a mild case of anxiety and a strong feeling of ‘never-being-good-enough’ isn’t really a cocktail I’d want to be drinking the rest of my life. I prefer pina coladas, thank you very much. So it got me thinking – why don’t I do the things I want to do?

About a year ago, a person very important to me at that moment, aggressively criticized my way of thinking. My point of view wasn’t aligned with his and maybe he even had ego issues, who the fuck knows. The thing is, I was deeply demotivated to continue writing my thoughts in english. “Why do you write in english? That’s stupid.” I didn’t know the answer then.

I just knew I simply loved to do it. Isn’t doing something that makes you feel good #lifegoals? Anyway, I listened. I listened and had me believe someone else knows better what’s best for me. I just pussied-out and agreed.

I still love to write in english and will continue to do so. Despite having a good reason now, I’d probably do it eventually anyway. Doing things I love to do, brought me where I am today. And even though there are times when the exact ‘why’ of doing something is unclear, I’m somehow drawn to thinking, acting and being in a certain way. Name it intuition, a calling or whatever it may be, each and every life has a purpose, and I am a strong believer that life will lead you to it, if you know how to listen.

I’ve made a decision to move to Australia for a year. I’d love to share my journey with you.

– L.

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